If you’re having trouble making your characters interesting or you feel like all your...
Words and References:
[warnings: mild violence, allusion to human sacrifice, decapitation]
The City doesn’t remember xer name. There are other Cities besides xim still,...
Here is the demo for the Steven Universe Theme Song!
Arrangement by Jeff Liu, vocals and omnichord by Rebecca Sugar.
Here are the chords!
"Consensual sex" is just sex. To say that implies that there is such a thing as "non consensual sex", which there isn’t. That’s rape. That is what it needs to be called. There is only sex or rape. Do not teach people that rape is just another type of sex. They are two very separate events. You wouldn’t say "breathing swimming" and "non breathing swimming", you say swimming and drowning.
um excuse you y’all forgot daenarys’ first time with khal drogo, which in the books is a study in “enthusiastic consent” and in the show is a classic case of partner rape that dani cries through.
I was feeling profoundly depressed about the UCSB shootings and equally depressed about the number of men who just don’t get why women are horribly upset and scared by this. Then I found the #YesallWomen hashtag on twitter and it helped.
Because, well, yes. Not all men are predators. But every woman you know has had experience with men who are. Every woman. Me. Your mother. That lady in the upstairs apartment with the dog with the annoying clicky nails ALL NIGHT ALL DAMN NIGHT PUT BOOTS ON THAT THING.
All of us.
I’m not even talking about rape or threats of violence here, though of course that’s part of it. It’s not just being taught from an early age that we’re prey animals, and we always have to be ready to fight or flee. It’s that creepy fifty-something guy who tried to pick me up on a city bus when I was fourteen. The fellow writer who stared down my shirt after his third glass of wine. The mail carrier who pulled over to ask me out on a date, and when I told him I was married, argued with me. (Notice, I told him “I’m married,” not “That’s flattering, but no thank you.” Because belonging to another man is safer than saying no.) There was the airport shuttle driver who bugged me for my phone number all the way from Hartford to New York, until another passenger entered the van.
That wasn’t scary at all. Nuh uh.
I’m not saying that it’s always inappropriate to pay a compliment. I was never offended by the guy who stopped me in the supermarket to tell me I had pretty hair and carried myself well, and it brightened his day—because he so patently did not want anything from me. He was complimenting, not coming on.
We can tell the difference.
If we’re conventionally attractive, we’re abused when we refuse to cater to men—when we don’t want to be bothered when we’re reading on the train or give them our phone number if they stop us on the street. If we’re dyky or fat or old, we’re abused for being ugly lesbo bitches, which is to say, not fuckable. Because being fuckable is the only excuse a woman has to exist, to these dudes.
It makes me fucking tired. It makes a lot of women tired.
And what you’re hearing right now is a lot of tired women asking for a little fucking respect. If you haven’t behaved that way, well then. It’s not directed at you, is it?
If you have behaved that way?
Maybe this could be a learning experience, then.
Men commenting on the UC Santa Barbara shooter’s YouTube video are saying that he would not been driven to commit mass murder if prostitution had been legal.
I am struck by these comments because they remind me of my rapist, who once told me that my anti-pornography stance is misguided because if men did not have porn, they would only become more aggressive towards women. He did not specify what he meant by “aggression,” but he did not need to. His message, delivered in the most casual way possible, was this: if men feel unsatisfied, women will suffer the consequences.
My rapist comes from a respected New Jersey family. He plays lacrosse, he graduated from college with honors, and he is well liked by just about everyone who meets him. He is well within the mainstream, as is the idea that when women do not satisfy male desires, we must be punished.
The UC Santa Barbara shooter, contrary to how the media will inevitably paint him, was far from fringe in his thinking about women. He did not commit an isolated act of madness; he took the ideology of male supremacy to its logical and devastating conclusion. Incidents of male violence, whether they be mass shootings or rapes in college dorm rooms, will continue for as long as the idea that women’s bodies belong to men pervades our culture.
Rape is the only crime on the books for which arguing that the temptation to commit it was too clear and obvious to resist is treated as a defence. For every other crime, we call that a confession.
I’ve gotten more angry asks about this post than I have actual reblogs.
One of the weirdest things about people who get mad at the idea of “Teach men not to rape” is just… why not? If you already know not to rape and what consent means, what does it take away from your life to be reminded again? We spend countless hours in school learning things, some of which we already know. It’s been demonstrated time and time again that many people don’t understand that consent can be conditional, that consent can be withdrawn after it’s already been given, that not all rape is physically forced or violent, that it counts as rape if it’s your intimate partner or someone you’ve consented to sex with in the past…. we KNOW that people misunderstand the meaning of rape and what true consent looks like. And not just rapists; politicians, teachers, parents, judges. So what is the harm of teaching those things? Don’t the pros, of having a society in which people understand the line between consent and rape, VASTLY outweigh the whatever imagined negative impact this could have? When I hear guys protest the concept of “teach men not to rape”, the underlying message I get is “It’s easier not to be held accountable for your actions when you can claim ignorance as to how they were wrong.”
See, if you teach men that getting someone drunk so that you can have sex with them is rape, or that coercing somebody into sex is rape, or that consent can be revoked at any time, they look back at their own actions and think “But that means I’m a rapist! But I can’t be a rapist because I’m a good person! Therefore, consent education is bad!” They couch it in terms of “men already know not to rape,” but deep down it’s because they know that if everyone knows about consent, everyone will know that their actions are inexcusable.
Repeat after me: Jameis Winston’s victim had absolutely nothing to gain by accusing him of rape.
Women do not purposely throw themselves into the path of misery and hatred and blame by accusing the beloved town football star of rape for fun. She knew the entire community would rally behind him. The only possible benefit she could have hoped would come from her accusation is that her rape would be properly investigated and prosecuted, and she didn’t even get that.
When researchers at the University of Toronto and the University of Washington observed young people’s behavior in bars, they found that the man’s aggressiveness didn’t match his level of intoxication. There was no relationship.
Instead, men targeted women who were intoxicated.
Antifeminists and MRAs seem to believe that somehow (despite a lack of consent education and media that shows no respect for the concept) that men know all about consent and not to rape. They somehow also seem to believe that despite bombardment with the message almost from birth, that women still don’t know to avoid walking alone at night. This seems to form the entirety of their praxis regarding rape prevention.