NorsePony's Mead Hall

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Posts tagged "rape"

socialnetworkhell:

"Consensual sex" is just sex. To say that implies that there is such a thing as "non consensual sex", which there isn’t. That’s rape. That is what it needs to be called. There is only sex or rape. Do not teach people that rape is just another type of sex. They are two very separate events. You wouldn’t say "breathing swimming" and "non breathing swimming", you say swimming and drowning.

(via abalidoth)

[TW: Rape, violence] [Jamie’s rape of Cersei] would be a big deal on its own, but it’s not the first time David Benioff and Dan Weiss have changed a scene so that it specifically victimizes a woman. At the end of season two, Stannis Baratheon chokes Melisandre of Asshai because he lost a big battle (not in the books). Last season, Ros was forced into an abusive sex scene with Joffrey (scene not in the books, character named Ros not in the books). Then, Ros’s storyline ends with her being used as target practice by Joffrey for the crime of inconveniencing Littlefinger. The last shot of her in the episode “The Climb” is her posed in a sexualized manner, feathered with crossbow bolts. The Red Wedding, which was plenty bloody enough in the books, added a brutal stabbing of King Robb Stark’s pregnant wife — directly into her womb.

Taken one at a time, any of these changes can be seen as a choice the writers have made. Stacked all together like that, and you start to see a troubling trend that the show’s creators are stumbling all over themselves to explain.

How Game Of Thrones Is Going Very Wrong, Thomas Fichtenmayer. (via tevintermagisters)

um excuse you y’all forgot daenarys’ first time with khal drogo, which in the books is a study in “enthusiastic consent” and in the show is a classic case of partner rape that dani cries through.

(via seriouslyamerica)

ursulavernon:

rapunzelie:

some of the nauseating youtube comments from the UCSB shooter’s channel. male entitlement! still at work!

They’re suggesting that women should fuck men out of fear, they should fuck these men to keep them from murdering women. Do you know what it is when you’re forced to fuck a man out of fear that he will hurt you if you don’t? Do you know what it is when you fuck a man because he threatens to kill you if you don’t? That fucking called rape.

I am so very tired.

matociquala:

I was feeling profoundly depressed about the UCSB shootings and equally depressed about the number of men who just don’t get why women are horribly upset and scared by this. Then I found the #YesallWomen hashtag on twitter and it helped.

Because, well, yes. Not all men are predators. But every woman you know has had experience with men who are. Every woman. Me. Your mother. That lady in the upstairs apartment with the dog with the annoying clicky nails ALL NIGHT ALL DAMN NIGHT PUT BOOTS ON THAT THING.

All of us.

I’m not even talking about rape or threats of violence here, though of course that’s part of it. It’s not just being taught from an early age that we’re prey animals, and we always have to be ready to fight or flee. It’s that creepy fifty-something guy who tried to pick me up on a city bus when I was fourteen. The fellow writer who stared down my shirt after his third glass of wine. The mail carrier who pulled over to ask me out on a date, and when I told him I was married, argued with me. (Notice, I told him “I’m married,” not “That’s flattering, but no thank you.” Because belonging to another man is safer than saying no.) There was the airport shuttle driver who bugged me for my phone number all the way from Hartford to New York, until another passenger entered the van.

That wasn’t scary at all. Nuh uh.

I’m not saying that it’s always inappropriate to pay a compliment. I was never offended by the guy who stopped me in the supermarket to tell me I had pretty hair and carried myself well, and it brightened his day—because he so patently did not want anything from me. He was complimenting, not coming on.

We can tell the difference.

If we’re conventionally attractive, we’re abused when we refuse to cater to men—when we don’t want to be bothered when we’re reading on the train or give them our phone number if they stop us on the street. If we’re dyky or fat or old, we’re abused for being ugly lesbo bitches, which is to say, not fuckable. Because being fuckable is the only excuse a woman has to exist, to these dudes.

It makes me fucking tired. It makes a lot of women tired.

And what you’re hearing right now is a lot of tired women asking for a little fucking respect. If you haven’t behaved that way, well then. It’s not directed at you, is it?

If you have behaved that way?

Maybe this could be a learning experience, then.

(via seananmcguire)

transcultist:

Men commenting on the UC Santa Barbara shooter’s YouTube video are saying that he would not been driven to commit mass murder if prostitution had been legal. 

I am struck by these comments because they remind me of my rapist, who once told me that my anti-pornography stance is misguided because if men did not have porn, they would only become more aggressive towards women. He did not specify what he meant by “aggression,” but he did not need to. His message, delivered in the most casual way possible, was this: if men feel unsatisfied, women will suffer the consequences.

My rapist comes from a respected New Jersey family. He plays lacrosse, he graduated from college with honors, and he is well liked by just about everyone who meets him. He is well within the mainstream, as is the idea that when women do not satisfy male desires, we must be punished.

The UC Santa Barbara shooter, contrary to how the media will inevitably paint him, was far from fringe in his thinking about women. He did not commit an isolated act of madness; he took the ideology of male supremacy to its logical and devastating conclusion. Incidents of male violence, whether they be mass shootings or rapes in college dorm rooms, will continue for as long as the idea that women’s bodies belong to men pervades our culture.

(via seriouslyamerica)

What would make this tragedy even more tragic would be if we were to separate what happened to Jill from cases of violence against women where the victim knew, had a sexual past with, talked to the perpetrator in a bar, or went home with him. It would be tragic if we did not recognise that Bayley’s previous crimes were against prostitutes, and that the social normalisation of violence against a woman of a certain profession and our inability to deal with or talk about these issues, socially and legally, resulted in untold horror for those victims, and led to the brutal murder of my wife. We cannot separate these cases from one another because doing so allows us to ignore the fact that all these crimes have exactly the same cause – violent men, and the silence of non-violent men. We can only move past violence when we recognise how it is enabled, and by attributing it to the mental illness of a singular human being, we ignore its prevalence, it root causes, and the self-examination required to end the cycle. The paradox, of course is that in our current narrow framework of masculinity, self-examination is almost universally discouraged.

prokopetz:

prokopetz:

Rape is the only crime on the books for which arguing that the temptation to commit it was too clear and obvious to resist is treated as a defence. For every other crime, we call that a confession.

I’ve gotten more angry asks about this post than I have actual reblogs.

(via junkieofdata)

zuiyomaru:

misandry-mermaid:

One of the weirdest things about people who get mad at the idea of “Teach men not to rape” is just… why not?  If you already know not to rape and what consent means, what does it take away from your life to be reminded again?  We spend countless hours in school learning things, some of which we already know.  It’s been demonstrated time and time again that many people don’t understand that consent can be conditional, that consent can be withdrawn after it’s already been given, that not all rape is physically forced or violent, that it counts as rape if it’s your intimate partner or someone you’ve consented to sex with in the past….  we KNOW that people misunderstand the meaning of rape and what true consent looks like.  And not just rapists; politicians, teachers, parents, judges.  So what is the harm of teaching those things?  Don’t the pros, of having a society in which people understand the line between consent and rape, VASTLY outweigh the whatever imagined negative impact this could have?  When I hear guys protest the concept of “teach men not to rape”, the underlying message I get is “It’s easier not to be held accountable for your actions when you can claim ignorance as to how they were wrong.”

See, if you teach men that getting someone drunk so that you can have sex with them is rape, or that coercing somebody into sex is rape, or that consent can be revoked at any time, they look back at their own actions and think “But that means I’m a rapist! But I can’t be a rapist because I’m a good person! Therefore, consent education is bad!” They couch it in terms of “men already know not to rape,” but deep down it’s because they know that if everyone knows about consent, everyone will know that their actions are inexcusable.

(via lookatthisfuckingoppressor)

bebinn:

feministblackboard:

 I cannot begin to tell you how incredibly moved I am by all of the messages, reblogs and personal storiies have come out from that article I wrote on reproductive coercion. It’s such an important issue we need to get out. It isnt some intangible idea that floats far away from us. It happens to our mothers, daughters, sisters and friends. Without further adieu, here are some of the many, many messages that have sprung from that post. I hope they paint how real and close this issue is to each of us.  Click here to view essay
“My ex husband did this shit to me. Once we got married I wasn’t allowed to use birth control pills, he refused to use condoms.” 
“I actually knew multiple women going through this when I was working at the domestic violence shelter.”
“Marital rape happens so often in some places people don’t see it as an issue. They think, if you’re married the man is entitled to have sex whenever he desires which is incorrect. Whether you are a complete stranger in a dark alley or married to me, you do not have any right putting your hands on me without my consent.”
“This is why I was on Depo when I was stuck with my abusive boyfriend.  He beat the shit out of me when he found my hidden birth control pills.Guess who opened 2 hours early so that I could get my Depo injection without my abuser knowing?  Planned Parenthood.”
 “thank you for this. people do need to realize that there are TONS of reasons why people seek out Planned Parenthood or other clinics that can get them help. This is one of them. This has been going on for thousands of years, and it has been an accepted practice in many cultures for just as long. This isn’t something thats happening half a world away from you; this could have happened to your own mother, to your aunt, to you.”
“This, depressingly, is the reason I’m in the world. Except that my dad thought if my mum had a baby she’d have to stop working, seeing her friends, and would be confined to the house. It worked, my mums now 56 and has only been living her own life how she wants for the last 10 years. My dad used to refer to it him having “clipped her wings”.”
“Many voters never consider how defunding these clinics could hurt victims of domestic violence who turn to them for counseling as well as pregnancy prevention.” 
 “This is important and you should read it. Especially the men out there. Just because she’s dating or married to you does not mean you can demand sex whenever you want, and it certainly doesn’t entitle you to any kind of control over her body or reproductive choices. A woman’s body is hers alone, and any attempt to control it is a form of abuse.”
“Started crying reading these stories and thinking about how law makers are taking away one of the best resources for these women.”
“Wow. I went to get birth control at a doctor’s office in the community a lot of people use and they now have posters like this and one’s that explain forcing someone to get pregnant or denying, stealing birth control is abuse and where they can get help. Its great that more people are shedding light on this, just heartbreaking so many people are going through this.”
“I rarely talk about this, but my first boyfriend, who was abusive, tried to do this to me. I’m so lucky I never got pregnant.”
“I had some sort of vague knowledge that abuse like this happen, but after reading this post, I am absolutely appalled. I hope that we can continue to support programs such as Planned Parenthood to help protect these women— and the children!— from abusers such as those mentioned above.”
““Its like he wants to own me from the inside out.” Ownership, entitlement, control, power. The barefoot and pregnant tool for controlling women is still alive and well in many men’s minds today.”
“It’s about time we had one of these stories [written]”
“Planned Parenthood is so important. I’ve written and called in to all of my state officials and so many of them just don’t care.  It enrages me when all anyone can think of with this program is abortion.  They use this argument to rally pro-lifers and gain monetary support. It’s disgusting. We have to keep fighting.”
“One of the reasons that the whole ‘woman deliberately getting pregnant to ‘trap’ a man’ stereotype makes me so angry. The truth of that situation is that it is far more often the other way around: the man traps the woman by forcing her to carry his child. A baby is usually far more of a tie to a relationship for a woman than it is for a man because she is almost always the primary carer, so she will be unable to get a job and will be left financially dependant on her partner. It is the kind of thing that it makes perfect sense for a controling boyfriend/husband to try because pregnancy and then being a full-time mother leaves a woman so physically, financially and emotionally vulnerable.”
“My ex didn’t get violent until he was sure I was pregnant and theoretically trapped in our marriage. He was really invested in being a father until my son wasn’t enough of a reason for me to stay & I refused to have another child to “fix” things between us. To this day I am grateful for the invention of Depo since it was BC he couldn’t sabotage. “
“I almost started crying in class reading that. That’s so terrifying and awful…”
“This is too important not to share”“I don’t want to get into details, but this is a subject that matters a lot to me.”
“Pay attention Folks. Marital Rape is Real. If my ex-husband had been able to get away with his plan, I’d still be putting up with his fat abusive ass. Thanks to Planned Parenthood I was able to protect myself and my uterus”
“I have a marital rapist in my family.  Yes, it is real. Yes it exists. Wedding vows do not mean a wife loses the ability to say “no”.
“This is super important. I know people that have suffered from this kind of abuse and it really disgusts me that so many people think it doesn’t exist. Everyone should read this.
I don’t understand why people think planned parenthood is such a terrible anti-life place. It’s a sanctuary and often saves women from the mental trauma that this describes.”
“My best friend recently divulged that her father had threatened her mother with divorce and financial ruin if she didn’t get pregnant with his third child.I was literally floored.”

Thank you so much, feministblackboard.

bebinn:

feministblackboard:

 I cannot begin to tell you how incredibly moved I am by all of the messages, reblogs and personal storiies have come out from that article I wrote on reproductive coercion. It’s such an important issue we need to get out. It isnt some intangible idea that floats far away from us. It happens to our mothers, daughters, sisters and friends. Without further adieu, here are some of the many, many messages that have sprung from that post. I hope they paint how real and close this issue is to each of us.  Click here to view essay

“My ex husband did this shit to me. Once we got married I wasn’t allowed to use birth control pills, he refused to use condoms.” 

“I actually knew multiple women going through this when I was working at the domestic violence shelter.”

“Marital rape happens so often in some places people don’t see it as an issue. They think, if you’re married the man is entitled to have sex whenever he desires which is incorrect. Whether you are a complete stranger in a dark alley or married to me, you do not have any right putting your hands on me without my consent.”

“This is why I was on Depo when I was stuck with my abusive boyfriend.  He beat the shit out of me when he found my hidden birth control pills.Guess who opened 2 hours early so that I could get my Depo injection without my abuser knowing?  Planned Parenthood.”

 “thank you for this. people do need to realize that there are TONS of reasons why people seek out Planned Parenthood or other clinics that can get them help. This is one of them. This has been going on for thousands of years, and it has been an accepted practice in many cultures for just as long. This isn’t something thats happening half a world away from you; this could have happened to your own mother, to your aunt, to you.”

“This, depressingly, is the reason I’m in the world. Except that my dad thought if my mum had a baby she’d have to stop working, seeing her friends, and would be confined to the house. It worked, my mums now 56 and has only been living her own life how she wants for the last 10 years. My dad used to refer to it him having “clipped her wings”.”

Many voters never consider how defunding these clinics could hurt victims of domestic violence who turn to them for counseling as well as pregnancy prevention.” 

 “This is important and you should read it. Especially the men out there. Just because she’s dating or married to you does not mean you can demand sex whenever you want, and it certainly doesn’t entitle you to any kind of control over her body or reproductive choices. A woman’s body is hers alone, and any attempt to control it is a form of abuse.”

“Started crying reading these stories and thinking about how law makers are taking away one of the best resources for these women.”

“Wow. I went to get birth control at a doctor’s office in the community a lot of people use and they now have posters like this and one’s that explain forcing someone to get pregnant or denying, stealing birth control is abuse and where they can get help. Its great that more people are shedding light on this, just heartbreaking so many people are going through this.”

I rarely talk about this, but my first boyfriend, who was abusive, tried to do this to me. I’m so lucky I never got pregnant.”

I had some sort of vague knowledge that abuse like this happen, but after reading this post, I am absolutely appalled. I hope that we can continue to support programs such as Planned Parenthood to help protect these women— and the children!— from abusers such as those mentioned above.”

“Its like he wants to own me from the inside out.” Ownership, entitlement, control, power. The barefoot and pregnant tool for controlling women is still alive and well in many men’s minds today.

“It’s about time we had one of these stories [written]”

“Planned Parenthood is so important. I’ve written and called in to all of my state officials and so many of them just don’t care.  It enrages me when all anyone can think of with this program is abortion.  They use this argument to rally pro-lifers and gain monetary support. It’s disgusting. We have to keep fighting.”

One of the reasons that the whole ‘woman deliberately getting pregnant to ‘trap’ a man’ stereotype makes me so angry. The truth of that situation is that it is far more often the other way around: the man traps the woman by forcing her to carry his child. A baby is usually far more of a tie to a relationship for a woman than it is for a man because she is almost always the primary carer, so she will be unable to get a job and will be left financially dependant on her partner. It is the kind of thing that it makes perfect sense for a controling boyfriend/husband to try because pregnancy and then being a full-time mother leaves a woman so physically, financially and emotionally vulnerable.”

My ex didn’t get violent until he was sure I was pregnant and theoretically trapped in our marriage. He was really invested in being a father until my son wasn’t enough of a reason for me to stay & I refused to have another child to “fix” things between us. To this day I am grateful for the invention of Depo since it was BC he couldn’t sabotage. “

“I almost started crying in class reading that. That’s so terrifying and awful…”

“This is too important not to share”
I don’t want to get into details, but this is a subject that matters a lot to me.”

Pay attention Folks. Marital Rape is Real. If my ex-husband had been able to get away with his plan, I’d still be putting up with his fat abusive ass. Thanks to Planned Parenthood I was able to protect myself and my uterus”

“I have a marital rapist in my family.  Yes, it is real. Yes it exists. Wedding vows do not mean a wife loses the ability to say “no”.

“This is super important. I know people that have suffered from this kind of abuse and it really disgusts me that so many people think it doesn’t exist. Everyone should read this.

I don’t understand why people think planned parenthood is such a terrible anti-life place. It’s a sanctuary and often saves women from the mental trauma that this describes.”

“My best friend recently divulged that her father had threatened her mother with divorce and financial ruin if she didn’t get pregnant with his third child.I was literally floored.”

Thank you so much, feministblackboard.

(via seriouslyamerica)

tiniestlioness:

Repeat after me: Jameis Winston’s victim had absolutely nothing to gain by accusing him of rape.

Women do not purposely throw themselves into the path of misery and hatred and blame by accusing the beloved town football star of rape for fun. She knew the entire community would rally behind him. The only possible benefit she could have hoped would come from her accusation is that her rape would be properly investigated and prosecuted, and she didn’t even get that.

(via seriouslyamerica)

And I think what’s interesting when you talk about Plaxico [Burress], he hurt himself. And you see with Michael Vick, there is public hatred. I love animals, but I think it’s worse to smack around a human being than a dog. Where is the outrage when this is happening to women? As a society, it’s like we still don’t always take domestic violence seriously.

When researchers at the University of Toronto and the University of Washington observed young people’s behavior in bars, they found that the man’s aggressiveness didn’t match his level of intoxication. There was no relationship.

Instead, men targeted women who were intoxicated.

lookatthisfuckingoppressor:

Antifeminists and MRAs seem to believe that somehow (despite a lack of consent education and media that shows no respect for the concept) that men know all about consent and not to rape. They somehow also seem to believe that despite bombardment with the message almost from birth, that women still don’t know to avoid walking alone at night. This seems to form the entirety of their praxis regarding rape prevention.

slaughterhouse-ninetwofive:

albinwonderland:

ediebrit:

oh my fucking god

huge fucking trigger warning but oh my god

shots. fucking. fired.

(via seriouslyamerica)

(mention/apologism of rape, tw) Indeed, the idea of ‘winning the girl’ – of overcoming female objections or resistance through repeated and frequently escalating efforts – is central to most of our modern romantic narratives. (Female persistence, by contrast, is viewed as pathetic.) And the more I think about instances of creepiness, harassment and stalking that culminate in either the threat or actuality of sexual assault, the more I’m convinced that a massive part of the problem is this socially sanctioned idea that men are fundamentally entitled to persist. Because if men are meant to persist, then women who say no must only be rejecting the attempt, not the man himself, so that every separate attempt becomes one of a potentially infinite number of keys which might just fit the lock of the woman’s approval. She’s not the one who’s allowed to say no, not really; she should be silent and passive as a locked door, waiting patiently while the man runs through however many keys he can be bothered trying. And if he gets sick of this lengthy process and just breaks in? Well, frustration under those circumstances is only natural. Either the door shouldn’t have been there to impede him, or it shouldn’t have been locked.

The Creepiness Question (via notemily)

women who say no must only be rejecting the attempt, not the man himself”

This is so fucking accurate

(via stfueverything)

(via seriouslyamerica)